The girl who never sets sail

 

– Hello! Just come in! I’m in the kitchen! Wait a minute! I will pack up the stuff away, and you can sit down. I’m almost done, just cook something quickly for the kids! They are staying at my mother’s home, and this time it is not as hectic as usually, but I’m going to fetch them at six. I mean, at six in the evening. Otherwise, what time is it? Damn it! Eleven? Anyway, what’s up?

– Nothing special, I just thought …

– Sorry, but my phone is ringing, I have to answer it!

– It’s okay!

– So, tell me, what’s the problem? Are you just pulling my legs or is it true? Otherwise, why on Earth are you always generating a problem? A problem! Mountains of problems! O.K. Tell me, I’m listening to you! Just please do not be so stressful! You know, anxiety, and distress does not lead to anything good. I already told you! you know that human body produces adrenaline because of fear, to be prepared for escape. If there is no escape, the maintaining a constant state of readiness depletes the body, disrupts the metabolism, and all of the hormones and insuline as well. You will be tired, frigging, scattered-minded, fat and hungry and will have diabetes.

Yeah, yeah, I know I’m fucking good at cheering. But listen to me, it’s really not a game! Leave it all to hell! Listen, I gotta go because the food is burnt, and it sucks. Call me back later. Bye-bye!

I’m really sorry, but my friend is carrying the pain of the world on her back! Which one? Vali. All the same! And they call me up! Never mind. But still! If I were in her shoes, I kick her boyfriiend up so high that he would be able to read the VIN of the Dipper! But Vali does not like that. O.K.! Rather, we like to have a cigarette! The truth is that I’m damn tired. Something barely slept. My neck still hurts. It sucks the way it is! Ooh, shit, it’s almost burnt again!

– And the suitcase?

– What kind of suitcase?

– Well, the old, worn one that is standing on the corridor.

– Yeah, I just thought we could go somewhere for the weekend with the kids. I’m so sick and tired of everything here already! I need some shut-off.

– Denmark? Iceland?

– No hell! We are going to the Matra to visit my relatives. It is a beautiful place after all!

Did you know that the main part of the Matra consists of hundreds of feet thick layer of volcanic rock? And the primary volcanic forms of the Miocen eroded by the period of Pliocene.

– Sounds exciting …

– Yeah, I can imagine, that’s okay, you do not care. The problem is that they do not understand who should.

– How’s the college?

– I have no problem. Sorry, but I have to answer the call again. It’s crazy, what we have today, isn’t it?

– Hello! So, what’s up? And are you ready? Listen, I have finished the food, so I can go. In  fifteen minutes later, I’ll be there.

– Do you mind if I pop-up for my sister? We can chat in my car as well. Oh, and do you mind my stopping near the bank, I need to arrange something. We fetch my sis, then we can start to work on the website, you have come …

– Damn, this suitcase! Wait, I’ll take it to the living room! Don’t carry about it, I do not need help! Now, let’s go! Today is a beautiful day! Poor start, then sharp falls! Running around back and forth like a dog which has lost its balls! Well, it’s enough embarrasing, is not it?

– And now, where are we going?

– For Viki, to the hospital.

– But it is twenty miles! You said, we would be there in fifteen minutes.

– Than we will be late  – just few minutes. No problem. My sister knows me already! Wait a minute! Do you know this music! Fucking great! Listen to this! Otherwise, you are  hungry, aren’t you? On the way back we can have some Chinese food.

– But you have just finished cooking!

– Yeah, that’ll be good for dinner, when all of us will be at home. No problem. Did I tell you what had  happened yesterday?

Never mind. I’ll tell you later. A bit complicated. But that guy! I can’t believe it! A real know-it-all. But I definitely tell him the truth. You know me. I am not troubled heart!

– So we were talking about the marble of Süttő.

– Yeah, it is evident.

– But I told him that it is not marble, but limestone. Red limestone.

– So enlightened as Buddha. Well, I have opened up a new dimension in his life.

– Oh, fuck! Is not that true! Why does this asshole have a BMW! Sorry, but these new rich jerks are always half shells on my brain! Grow brain, stupid! What was I talking about?

– The marble of Süttő, which is limestone.

– Exactly. It is simple like bubble-making! By the way! Even the kids need something. I promised. It does not matter, we jump in the bookstore if you do not mind. And there is a good second-hand shop too! Once you’re on the move …

– Okay.

– By the way, have youI heard what happened with Ági? Sorry, but my phone is ringing again!

– So, how’s it going? Come on! you are still dwelling on this? Are you crazy? And where? And tell me why? Do not do it! Who are you? Adult man, or what the fuck! To act like this? Who cares what your mom said! Think about it! You have brain after all! And calm down! Thus, a relationship can not be handled like this! Think about it, calm down, and I will call you later! Well, bye!

– Sorry, but my nephew is suffering again. Ah, here comes Viki!

– Sorry, you’re not waiting for us so much?

– Ah, just ten minutes plus.

– Otherwise, everything is all right?

– Yeah, the medical records are negative!

– You know, Viki had a bacterial infection. The problem is that she has had a lot of antibiotics. O.k. I know there are bacteriostatic or bactericidal effect …

– What the hell are you talking about?

– Yeah, some of them kill germs, others hold  their growth.

– Relieved to hear that.

– I knew it. But the point is that they ruin your immune system, but everybody has four genetically determined immunologic portabilities at the very moment of birth. I could talk about fagocities and lymphocytes. Many smart mom give a lot of antibioticto their children. And it is fucking bad for a human being. Viki can talk about it.

– Yeah, from my experience. Otherwise, what are you doing this weekend?, Come with us to Józsi?

– Józsi? Are they home again? He is also one of my relatives.

– Oh, they came from Austria yesterday. They will stay here 2 weeks.

– Then we visit them!

– But you will travel to the Matra, won’t you?

– Maybe next time. No problem. I will make a phone call, that we cannot travel, something has come up.

– And the suitcase?

– I put it back into the pantry. No problem. O.K. Girls! Chinese restaurant?

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4 hozzászólás
  1. Limy says:

    Dear J.G.,
    Thanks for reading my short story. What an honour! This story is just a humble compliment for my friend. I have to tell you: I never offend my friends. I just pull their legs. And I prefer mocking men. I mean real men not toy-soldiers and plastic samurai.

  2. J. G. Andersson says:

    You misunderstood me. I know that she must cope with the situation all alone. She is really clever, but this short is all the more reason for her to do something out.
    I’m glad that you prefer men, this is completely normal.
    All things considered I must say you must be right. Plastic samurai with plastic sword…..just an object in the Barbie-world. Wow! Our little friend will be happy about this!!

  3. J. G. Andersson says:

    The rhyme was random accident, these are basic sentences for educated pop-singers,
    but if I have a choice, let it be… the Msc…of course.
    Seriously: I like these shorts, especially this one, ‘cos she’s one of my best friends and you showd me her “dark” side. Your humor is gorgeous, and the sarcasm is not a congenital disease, it’s just a tool against blinds and idiots.

  4. Dachs says:

    Congratulation for the screenwriter and the actress! Keep it up! 😀

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